


The Apocalypse for Beginners

by smaragdbird



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 17:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5793268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fingon survives the Battle of Unnumbered Tears. <br/>But Maedhros is still bound by his oath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Apocalypse for Beginners

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=9845520#t9845520) prompt on hobbit_kink.

The battle seemed all but lost when Maedhros made a last, desperate push for Fingon’s position. He couldn’t leave him, not after all Fingon had done for him. Maybe it was madness, maybe he was senselessly sacrificing his men but he had to try at least.

 

Fingon gathered the last of the Noldor and Maedhros joined him. Too little of them were left and why keep up pretences when the truth was there for everyone to see?

Only Maglor came to Hithlum as well. His other brothers stayed in Ossiriand, far away

 

Nargothrond fell to Glaurung and Maedhros held Fingon as he cried for the deaths of his cousin and his children and people. There were no comforting words he could say. They were cursed, all of them.

 

Thingol was slaughtered for the Silmaril. It was too beautiful. No one could resist it. With Melian and her protective girdle around Doriath gone, his brothers demanded to march against Luthien and Beren if they didn’t depart from the Silmaril.

“If you want to go against those who stole the Silmaril from Morgoth himself, feel free to do so”, Maedhros mocked them. But the oath gnawed at him and he knew sooner or later he would give in. He always gave in. The oath had made it impossible not to.

 

Once Dior became king, he refused to part with Silmaril, saying that the Sons of Feanor had no right to it. Madhros thought he was right but the oath didn’t let him rest.

 

“We’ll take it with force”, Celegorm said. “Doriath is defenceless.”

“Maedhros”, Fingon’s hand curled around his arm. “Don’t.”

Maedhros couldn’t bear to look at him. “I’m sorry.”

He followed his brothers.

 

He searched for the sons of Dior for more than a year before admitting defeat. He didn’t know what Maglor told Fingon, but that he was allowed to return to Hithlum at all meant Maglor had said something. He demanded to be imprisoned but Fingon shook his head.

“I’m not sure I can chain you anymore than your oath does”, he said.

Maedhros fell to knees in front of him and cried in Fingon’s lap like a child. “I just wanted us to be free.”

“I know”, Fingon replied, his hand carding through Maedhros’ hair. “So did I.”

 

When he learned that the Silmaril was at the Havens of Sirion, he kept quiet about it.

“What are you doing here brother?” Maglor asked when he found him on the tallest balcony in the dead of winter.

“If I jumped, it’d be over”, Maedhros answered. From the corner of his eyes he could see Maglor shake his head.

“It’ll never be over”, Maglor said with frightening certainty. “We’re damned.”

 

Maedhros did not return to Fingon after the third kinslaying.

 

“The Oath demands that we take the Silmaril back”, Maedhros said but he looked weary.

“Varda and Manwe have taken the Oath from us”, Maglor reminded him.

“But we swore by Iluvatar and how can that be taken from us?”

“We have long become unworthy of the Silmaril by the crimes we committed in the name of winning them back.”

“Then we are cursed no matter what we do.”

“I’d rather be seen as the breaker of such a hurtful oath than to raise my sword another time.”

Maedhros looked at Fingon, who had remained silent so far, as if Fingon was his salvation.

“You were always unwilling about the crimes committed in the name of your oath. Do not change that now”, Fingon said quietly. His words applied to both of them but his eyes only spoke to Maedhros. 

Maglor was often jealous of the bond between them that they had managed to preserve despite everything pitting them against each other. Their people sang songs about Beren and Luthien but they should sing about Fingon and Maedhros. Who else’s love had endured so much?

Maedhros nodded slowly as if he was still arguing with himself in his head.

“If you have them and then give them away that would fulfil the oath, wouldn’t it?” Fingon asked, looking from the brothers to Eonwe.

“Technically he’s right”, Maglor said. “Once we have the Silmaril our Oath is fulfilled and we can do whatever we want with them.”

“But would you return them after all you have done to get them?” Eonwe asked.

“I never want to see or hear about these damned stones ever again”, Maedhros answered. “We were mad when we took the oath.”

Maglor nodded. “I feel the same.”

“You will be under supervision. If you attempt to take them – “

“Yes, we know”, Maglor replied.

 

The stone burned him when Maedhros touched it and flinched from it.

“Maitimo – “Fingon was at his side instantly. 

Next to him, Maglor experienced the same.

“We’re free”, Maedhros whispered. “We cannot touch the Silmaril. We cannot fulfill our oath. We are free.” He started to cry while Maglor stared at his burned hand in wonder.

 

“Eonwe has offered those not of Feanor’s house who wish to return passage back to Valinor.” Maedhros had always feared that the hour of separation would come. They had lived through too many circumstances that should have killed them and yet hadn’t. Both his missing hand and the twisted scar on Fingon’s face were testament to that.

“I will not keep you if you wish to return home”, he added without looking at Fingon.

Fingon crossed the distance between them and put his hand over Maedhros’ heart. “My home is here.”

Maedhros looked up at him, ready to argue, ready to beg him but Fingon raised his other hand and laid it against Maedhros’ lips. “There’s nothing in Valinor for me and I won’t be the only one who stays. In one regard your father was right: war, famine and loss have led me to appreciate my life much more than I ever did in Valinor. And if I cannot return with you then I will not return at all.”

Maedhros opened his mouth but he was at loss for words. “I love you, too” he said finally but it sounded weak to his own ears after Fingon’s admission.

The smile Fingon gave him was brighter than the sun, even brighter than the light of the two trees. “And I have never doubted it.”

“I know.” After all his severed hand was not a remainder of his captivity but that Fingon had come and freed him. It was a love letter etched into his body.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


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